you.

i am just afraid to love.

mbs

its been 10 days at work. im loving it more and more each day and im really looking forward to the opening. its gonna be the combined hardwork of all departments and all staff, and definately the start of this magnificent journey.
the stress level has no doubt been increasing every single day as more and more information are being desseminated down, and you dun really have a choice but to absorb at ure fastest rate.
still, ive never regreted being part of this organization and im really proud to be part of the pre-opening team.

;im glad i made a couple of frens that i have faith in;at least im preety sure they are not the ones that will eventually walk out of the frenship.
i am adapting to this whole work thing. i mean life now preety much just comprises of work eat sleep and the cycle starts again the next tyme you open ure eyes. i mean the sudden loss of the carefree days is just really something that i needta get used to. dan again, i feel soo much more independant now, altho there will be those days where i just feel so lonely and i just miss jt so much. still, the people i met inside made things so much more at home for me. i guess ultimately im nort alone. at least 50 other people are sharing the same stress, same fear, same plight.
i must thank those that have been supporting me. i guess there are always tymes where im nort really sure if im able make it out of this 6 weeks battle "alive". the intensity that builds up everyday is really nort easy to handle. there are definately tymes where i feel liek breaking down cox the expectations are there and you either make it or yea break it.
but i wanna make it work and i will make it work. (: because being in this business is what ive been working so hard for.

my HUGE team has soo far been a great one to be with and i sure do hope that when operation starts we'll still be this one united family. i tink its all thanks to some of the realllly nise colleagues that ive known that im really hanging on well till now, at least surviving yes?
i so need a listening/ranting ear for now): i guess nort really doing anything important for the past 5mths and jumping right straight into really intensive training everyday for extremely long hours is totally mind wreaking.
i have really leetle tyme for myself and i dun even have much tyme on the phone with jt, nevermind the meeting part. 
again, as much as i love this oppurtunity that has been given to me, and all that ive learnt so far, i eally do feel lonely at tymes cox i dun have the tyme to meet much people and most of the tyme im just alone grabbing dinner or just going home. liek i just kinda miss my life): its nowonder whie soo many working people say students are the best.
i tink today is just one of those days im feeling kinda emo, im so weak sometymes i just so feel liek tearing now.
but i noe i have to grit my teeth and hang in there. i noe i can do it. just yea, one of those days. 

i am so tired from just T H R E E days of work.
never thought i wld say this, but im actually missing my days in school.
i am indeed excited and hyped up about the opening;
nonetheless, i cant help but feel so suffocated having suchan immense amount of information to take in everyday. its liek you cant stop to breath but you gortta keep runningg.


jiayoujiayoujiayouuuuuu. and i miss jt.

deep.

because you believe in me, you made me instill so much more confidence in myself.
and yes, i guess i finally believe im not alone and im gonna learn to brave my new life and embrace the future, for better or for worst.
thank you.

in big organizations, do you ever make true frens? will i ever understand trust in its purest form?
as much as stepping out of this comfort zone, making my first dollar, going into the industry, climbing the corporate ladder,
the fear of the whole internship episodes still hauts me. i guess i am scared after all.
its alwaes glamourous on the outside, but well, it just means that the facade was very well created isnt it?
i hope i am just too critical, because for this once, i actally hope that im wrong.

goodbye zouk, it was a good one.

contentment alone is the best way to happiness.
i tink this is so true, and i really wanna live by this, at least i wanna work towards this (:

 it was officially my last day at zouk, and it striked me that this job has been the longest part tyme job ive ever held in all my 22years. one year and two months is definately no joke. than again, of course there must be many reasons whie ive stayed on for so long. i would say this journey is filled with emotions of many kinds. the kind that would make you soo pissed that you feel liek tearing and those heart warming moments that make you feel that everything is just worth it. in these 14months, ive made frens that i know would be there for me anytyme and have also seen the kinds that make you wonder wurt goes on in their mind. i wouldnt say its malfunctioned., but seriously, they make me doubt their capability to think logically. zouk has definately given me a slight impression of how the working world out there would be liek, these 14mths made me see how the management can be sooo important in running an organization, how staff morale can be sucha determining factor in keeping ure employees and how teamwork and strong bonds is of great essence to the running of it all as a whole. than of cox, zouk has never been sth that i would regret, and jt would definately be one of the biggest reason. this has never been an easy journey, but it was definately well worth it (:

i will definately miss being a bartender, miss working with my favourite people, miss working in the whole nyte life scene and miss serving those group of crazy regulars.

how do you noe if wurt ure having in ure life this very instant is gona last forever.
i am a pessimist when it comes to for-ever.
but at least i never gave up on it.

sometymes i tink im a contradiction to my believes/ my words.
sometymes i fear too much to show my true fragile heart and put it on the line.
sometymes i just have too much doubts.
sometymes i dun believe my own heart
than again,
there are the ones that show me life's more than that.
that even if those pessimestic thoughts exist, its still worth giving a shot
that nort every single person/events are gonna go wrong.
that pure relationship and true love exists
that i shd just learn to trust people.

i was rendered totally speechless with an embossed smile in my heart today.
i am so diggin it (:

love aint always smooth sailing; hurt, anger, tears. its when you want to be together despite it all, thats when you truly love each other.

what a life.

whie do blue skies never last? does kharma revolves around life?
what goes around comes around, but i guess its kinda fair if you take a step back to look.

; its almost tyme to bid farewell to my carefee life. it really marks the start of something new in soo many different ways. but working gives me a break from life, cox work will be sucking up all the tyme and energy. dan again, maybe its a good thing aint it?


you lay there beside me and just at that second we felt liek strangers, how in the world did this surface? my heart was coldly stabbed by this realization.
it might be my ranging emotional hormones, but no one will ever noe how painful that stab was.
;and than past memories comes hauting you, making you see kharma exists, and you realised that ure initial fear of agreeing on the venture wasnt just plain excuses and bullshit.
maybe its just meant to be this way, humans alwaes learn better the hard way. but i am sure i learnt it. i wan out now.